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1-2-3 Inner Game

Writer's picture: Dhiren P. HarchandaniDhiren P. Harchandani

Welcome to 1-2-3 Inner Game, your weekly hit of actionable strategies to achieve a high-performing, healthy, and thriving life.


 

Today's Highlights


  • When Fixing isn't the Fix

  • 1-2-3 Inner-Game

  • 5 Lessons I Learned from Pablo Escobar’s Son

  • What do Gen Zs Really Want?

  • Some of the things I've read and listened to this week


 

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Hi,


The other day, my kid was completely overwhelmed. Schoolwork was piling up, a project wasn’t going the way he wanted, and you could see the frustration building.


My first instinct? Go into "dad mode" and throw out solutions: “Just break it down, do a little at a time, no big deal.” But I stopped. I could tell that wasn’t what he needed.


It hit me—I remember being a kid.


When stuff like school or life wasn’t going perfectly, it felt huge. Adults would say, “It’s just homework” or “Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out,” but for me?


It felt like the world was caving in. It wasn’t about the task—it was that crushing feeling of not knowing where to start or how to handle it all.


So I did something different. I shut up and listened. No advice, no quick fix. Just asked him what was going on, let him vent, and got into his world for a minute.


And you know what?


The energy shifted. Just being heard was what he needed. Suddenly, he wasn’t stuck anymore.


It reminded me of how easy it is to forget what it’s like to be a kid, feeling overwhelmed by stuff that, as adults, we brush off.


We want to swoop in and fix everything, but sometimes the real power move is to just be there.


No hacks, no solutions—just showing up and letting them know you get it.


 

Here's some Inner Game wisdom to chew on this week


1 question and answer from me


What do you do when you're triggered?


Most will do anything to avoid them.


Feeling triggered?


Cool, let’s numb it with sex, drugs, food, smoking, alcohol, shopping—whatever works to distract, right? But here’s the thing, all of that is just putting a band-aid on it. It’s not solving the problem, it’s just adapting to it.


Here’s why: when you’re triggered, your brain is basically lying to you. It’s telling you, “You’re not going to be okay because of this thing that just happened.” And you believe it. But newsflash—that’s not true. To get past that fear, you’ve got to face it. Ask yourself, “Is this really true? Where’s the evidence that this thing is an actual threat?”


Most of the time, you’ll find there’s no real danger—it’s just a story your brain is spinning. Once you bust that myth, you open yourself up to a new, healthier way of seeing things. You shift from feeling threatened to seeing possibilities.


And if you need some extra firepower? I recommend emotional regulation techniques like Havening. It’s a quick way to calm your brain down and get back to reality.


So, next time you’re triggered, don’t run. Question it, break it down, and watch how fast the fear loses its grip.


2 quotes


  1. “Don’t worry about being the best, focus on being the best at getting better"

    - Unknown


  2. "If you do what everyone else does, you’ll get the same results everyone else gets"

    - Charlie Munger


3 insights from me


  1. I’ve observed that inteligence is pretty evenly distributed, mindset is not. There are countless examples of this in business and sports. Are you surrounded with people with the same mindset as you?


  2. Nike isn’t selling shoes—they’re selling that feeling of being unstoppable, like a pro athlete who just crushed it. People don’t just want a product; they want the emotional hit that comes with it.


  3. Hate your job? Change it up, learn new skills, pivot. Can’t change it? Accept it and stop wasting energy fighting it. Or, if neither works—leave and find something that aligns with what you really want. It’s simple: You can either fix it, live with it, or walk away. The trick is figuring out which one’s right for you.


 

5 brutal lessons I learned from Pablo Escobar's son


This week, I sat down with Juan Pablo Escobar—yeah, that Pablo Escobar’s son. I went in expecting wild stories about the world’s most infamous drug lord (and trust me, I got them). But what I didn’t see coming were the deep, raw lessons about life, power, and forgiveness. Here’s what I walked away with:


1. Love Warps Your Moral Compass


He was asked straight up, “Do you hate your dad for all the violence?”

His answer? “No, he was my father, and I loved him.”


Boom—there it is. Love twists how you see things. You know the bad stuff is real, but love makes it tough to hold them accountable. Can you love someone and still call out their BS? According to him, yeah—love doesn’t erase the wrong, but it makes it hard as hell to judge.


2. Money Buys Power, Not Peace


Escobar’s family had billions, but at one point, they couldn’t even afford a hotel. The emotional toll? Way worse than the financial crash. Money can get you power, but it doesn’t buy peace, happiness, or security. When it’s gone, you’re left with regret and harsh reality.


3. Violence Isn’t Cool, Even if Netflix Says So


We all binge Narcos, but for him? “This wasn’t a Netflix show for me.” The glamorization of his dad might make great TV, but it totally downplays the real trauma. For us, it’s entertainment—for his family, it’s years of pain.


4. Forgiveness is the Real Power Move


When Escobar died, revenge seemed like the easy option. But instead, he chose forgiveness—and that’s what freed him. Forgiveness isn’t weakness, it’s strength. It’s choosing to break the cycle instead of staying stuck in the same destructive loop.


5. Real Loyalty Can’t Be Bought


Escobar had bodyguards, friends, an entire entourage. But when things fell apart? They all bailed. In the end, it was just his family by his side. Real loyalty isn’t built on power, fear, or money. It’s built on real connections. When everything crumbles, only those who want to stay are left standing.


Talking with Juan Pablo was a reminder: no matter how much power or money you have, what really matters at the end of the day are the relationships and the choices you make. Even love can’t excuse the wreckage, but it can coexist with the knowledge of it. That’s the hard truth.


 

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Well said.


 

Some of the things I read and listened to this week



 

I'm rooting for you to continue crushing it! 💪🏼


Dhiren



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